He's been a regular, prominent feature of my life for about four or five years, a daily visitor from a few doors away, another of the cats I seem to 'collect' who prefer my hospitality to that of their own homes. A bit of a scamp, undoctored, he had a bad habit of doing a wee on whatever was near at hand, as un-neutered males often tend to do, I'm told. But I loved him to bits.
Three months ago his owner came knocking at my door with a veiled warning for me to stop feeding him as it was making him reluctant to stay where he belonged. I did stop - but only for a while. I couldn't bear to see him crying and going hungry. (My 'Noodles' came from the exact same house about 10 years ago. It seems that, for some reason, this owner's own cats prefer not to live there. I wonder why?)
I've put a note of my tragic discovery through the owner's door.
Unusually, just yesterday, having a midday nap, Ginger joined me on the bed, purring loudly and rubbing against me. He hadn't done that for months, and unlike Blackso, only did it very rarely.
But now he's gone. (I can't bear to think how I'm going to cope when the time comes for Blackso and Noodles).
Thank you for all the happiness and pleasure you gave me over the last few years, my precious little friend.
R.I.P. and bless you.
Upsetting......we never have animals long, for whatever reason eh so sorry
ReplyDeleteThanks, J.G. I'm still shaking inside. It's two and half hours since I found him but it's going to be on my mind for at least the rest of the day.
DeleteYes, their short lives mean we have to witness similar things over and over again, yet for some of us we can never get used to it happening..
So very sorry for your loss, Ray. How tragic and sad.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, S/b. Now, nearly eight hours later he's still uppermost in my mind. Can't stand it when people say things like "Oh, come off it. It was ONLY a cat!" (or dog etc.) The pain is there and it's very real - and it's MINE. I wouldn't belittle anyone else's grief, no matter for what, so why should they?
DeleteThanks again.
:(
ReplyDeletesuch a handsome boy. I know how you are feeling, dear. a precious friend has crossed the rainbow bridge, you both gave each other gifts of time and love.
Your words are much appreciated, A.M., even moreso as I know full well that it's not very long since you experienced a similar loss, though under different circumstances. It's true that I did give Ginger all I could, and I like to think he recognised it, otherwise he wouldn't have kept coming back several times a day, every day. But I do feel he gave me, like each of them, a solace impossible to evaluate. Even though I've got my own two, plus several other daily visitors. I'm not going to stop missing him. Every single one is individual, as you yourself know. Lovely little boy.
DeleteIt is so difficult to make any sense of this heartbreaking loss. Take comfort in knowing that Ginger was one of the lucky ones who found someone to love him. My thoughts are with you today.
ReplyDeleteGrateful for your thoughts and words too, Paul. My consolation is in thinking that I made his short life a little more comfortable, pleasant and certainly less hostile than the outside world, by giving him an environment where he knew instinctively that he was safe. I can't know why he wasn't keen to spend as much time at his own home but the fact of his regular, frequent visits here tells which place he preferred.
DeleteBtw: I know for a fact that Blackso and another daily visitor, Patchy, were not only aware of his inert, cold body lying there this morning, but I've no doubt went up to him and sniffed, if only out of curiosity. I wonder what they know of death in their little heads.I just hope they can put it out of their minds quicker than I can.
Your kind words are helping.
You know how I am about The Cats, so i know how much your heart aches.
ReplyDeleteJust know that you loved him, and he loved you right back, and the two of you had a special place in each other's lives.
Thank you so much, Bob. I feel like a piece of me has gone missing, never to be recovered. I couldn't have given him any more so I'll try to be content in that knowledge. Still hurts like hell, though.
DeleteThank you, my friend (i.e. both Ginger AND you.)
oh Ray how terribly sad. I know how much you love all your visiting kitties. Big Hug.
ReplyDeleteVery kind of you, Sol. Your hug is gratefully accepted on behalf of my dear, departed little friend. Now, a day later, I've got to try to stop dwelling on it and honour his memory by treasuring those still with me even more.
DeletePlease accept my heartfelt condolences. It's difficult to say goodbye to a furry companion, even if he wasn't technically "yours." But he was certainly part of your extended household.
ReplyDeleteHeartfelt thanks, Walt, for those kind words. I'm quite proud that he so obviously preferred to being with me than with his true owner, and it's a pity that he wasn't really mine. Well, now life must go one for those of us still here.
DeleteSo, so sorry to read this. Ginger was very lucky he found you and your kind and loving heart. Sending you hugs from here.
ReplyDeleteGrateful for your thoughts, Mitch. You'll know how devastating these things can be. Some may say it's silly but I've actually shed some tears, both yesterday as well as today. It's especially hard noticing places where only he liked to sit, and some pieces of ginger fur still left there. But one has to get over such things and get on with life - and appreciate things like Noodles, sleeping right here on the desk as I type this.
DeleteI don't blame you for shedding tears.
DeleteI hope you can also appreciate how much better you made his life. And don't be surprised if a new furry friend arrives and says, "Hey, I heard you had a position open!"
Thanks very much for that, Mitch. But someone has already well started taking Ginger's place, and this one really worries me. For a few weeks now a tortie tabby, very small, has been coming in and sitting at the window which I always keep open for the feline 'traffic' - BUT I fear that she's expecting kittens as her belly has ballooned out of all proportion to the rest of her little body. I've no idea where her home is but she now spends most of the day (and night, I think) sitting or lying and sleeping there. I don't feed her but she helps herself to what the others have left. She's very affectionate, with all the other cats unusually tolerating her newly-arrived presence with no fuss. But as you can understand, I'm terrified that she's going to have kittens right here. If she does I'll have no idea what to do. I can't possibly kill them myself. If I had a workable computer printer I could leaflet all the houses around, but I don't. What a horrible problem!
DeleteVery sorry to hear about poor Ginger. I have met & cared for a lot of cats in my lifetime. They are often far better companions than people & definitely much better listeners. My Mom always said "Cats pick you and not the other way around". I once had a neighbor who about 10 houses down the road who had a beautiful black & white cat I always admired for his good looks. When the cat (named Fred) was about 6 years old, he suddenly became a regular at my back door meowing to be let in each day. After a few weeks, I relinguished & allow fred in just for a visit. Fred never left my house again. I spoke to his owners who said that they had gotten a kitten about the same time Fred appeared at my door. Apparently Fred wanted nothing to do with a kitten & disowned his humans for bring another cat into the house. Basically, Fred had emotionally packed his bags & decided to come live with me. Fred's owners & I agreed that it was best for Fred to stay with me permanently. Secretly I wanted to say it was great for me too since Fred & I got along famously & he was great company. Fred lived another 12 years with me until he died of cancer at 19. I felt honored that he picked me to be the person he most wanted to spend his life with. I'm sure Ginger felt the same way about you,
ReplyDeleteI thinks most cats can sense who is kind & who has a good heart when they are in need of a good home & if cats could talk, I'm sure Ginger would have said you meant a lot to him & greatly improved the quality of his life.. He was a beautiful gingerboy & I'm gald you paid his "owner" no attention when he told you to leave him alone. You gave Ginger a safe & loving spot to spend his indoor time in. What more could a cat ask for? You are right to try & focus on the companions who are still there for you & need your attention, but you also have to grieve your loss at your own pace too.
The people who tell you it is "silly" to have emotions for an animal companion that has died either have never know what it is like to have a pet or they are cold hearted people. Having emotions over what happened only shows that you are a decent human being.
Very grateful indeed for those comments, Ellen. We are kindred spirits. Should one be shamed to declare that one prefers animal companionship to human ones? I always have done, which probably explains why I've never had a long-term relationship - though it seems 'wrong' to be so. However, I wonder if that's only because of what others tell us, religions being foremost among them.
DeleteYour own story about Fred is completely comprehensible to me. I'd never had a pet of any description until I moved to this address in 2000. Not because I didn't want one, which I most definitely did, and badly, but I was acutely aware of how I'd let them take over my life, resulting in my loss of highly treasured independence.
Then, when I moved here, I noticed a house on the corner where there seemed to be half a dozen cats, some of them often sitting outside on the window sill or at the gate. I can never avoid making friends with ANY domestic animals, especially cats and dogs, so I got to pet and stroke them every time I went past. They got to like me for that - and one of them, Blackso, started following me home here. Now, 14 years later he's still here (at the moment in the corner sleeping - and snoring! (His own owners have long since moved on - with their remaining brood). Then, about 5 years after that from another house (Ginger's old home) Noodles did the same thing, and he too is still here, right now also sleeping beside me, by the computer. Both the (rather unpleasant) owner and myself tried and tried again to take him back but he wouldn't stay. He had two young daughters who, I reckon, kept pestering him - probably treating him as a 'toy' which should always be available to play with, which I also did to our then pets when I was a little kid. But Noodles had decided to live with me, and that was that. So we gave up trying to make him stay at his proper home.
As you say, two cases here of cats making the decisions where they want their home to be.
Now I've also got Patchy, but at least I know where he comes from. His owners, true cat-lovers, who have their own 'family' of them, know he's here and we're allowing him to come and go as he wants.
But now in addition I've got the new headache of little Tortie (see my note directly above) - who's probably expecting kittens, an event which I'm dreading.
I've realise I've got to put Ginger's sad demise in proportion and I know how wearing and, indeed, irritating it is for other people to have to be subjected to never-ending laments on the subject, so I'll try to keep it inside from now on.
Thanks again for what you've said, Ellen - and for taking so much time for your very full comment. It's greatly appreciated, I can tell you.
Brest wishes, Ray.
Ray,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. Even though I didn't know Ginger, I feel your loss. So sad. Especially the way he died. I try not to think of all the bad that happens to these lovely creatures. So loving. My thoughts are with you Ray.
Ron
Thank you, Ron. I know that the enormous love of cats that we both share gives you some idea of the pain I felt. But I can't keep harping on about it as though I was unique in feeling such emotion. We all have to take such things in our stride and carry on. But even so, I'm grateful for your thoughts.
DeleteI'm not very well at present and this was very hard to read. Seems I cry easily these days - at almost anything - but this is too close to home. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could give you a warm hug.
ReplyDeleteThanks, C. Sorry that you had to read this at your own difficult time so I doubly appreciate your thoughts. Since it happened three days ago I'm managing to stop dwelling on it though it does still hurt every time it comes into mind. many thanks again.
DeleteOh good lord.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to see you are surrounded here by friends and family. There is no sorrow like the loss of a pet. One of my saddest memory was having to impromptu bury my dog who was run over. And the passing of my two cats hurt like hell.
hugs to you.
My gratitude to you as well, but I am coping with moving on now. Just got to get things in proportion, though as you say it's a special loss when an animal-friend goes. One feels that.although the loss of a human close to one is of a totally different order one does get real sympathy from all quarters when it happens. With animals, on the other hand, sadness is often internalised for fear of ones grief being mocked by others who don't value the little, short lives of pets as much. But I am taking solace from the sizeable number of computer pals who've taken the time to offer sympathies. So just to say I'm very grateful to you and others like you.
Delete