Out of the 14 addresses I've lived at, both in this country and in Germany, I've never had a neighbour who comes anything like what I have to put with in this Mr Nasty. Nobody has gotten even close. Living here is like sitting on a dormant volcano, never knowing when it's going to erupt again.
His 16-year old daughter is coming to live with him in a few weeks time (in the flat below) and I can only imagine what tales he's telling her about me. If they're going to gang up together against me - or they have major fights between themselves, which is very likely given her age of maximum rebelliousness - life here will have tipped right over into an intolerable un-livability.
Started investigating whether I can get accommodation in a retired persons block in either Brighton (where I lived 1992-2000) or Oxford (1975-88). The latter would be my preference, there being where I was happiest with such a range of cultural activities going on around, all within walking distance. I'd be satisfied to see out my remaining time there.
A particular difficulty would be my two cats, but I'll have to resolve that when a decision is needed, if and when it comes.
I'll be posting on my progress.
I imagine a lot of retired folks have a small pet or two; I'm sure you can find a good place that will allow the cats. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYes, I've seen that number do allow them, Jennifer - though none that I can yet find in central Oxford, my optimum aim. But early days yet.
DeleteI will keep all good thoughts for you, as I always do. I love Oxford! Hope it happens... and fast!
ReplyDeleteMe very much too, Mitch. Thanks ever so.
Deletegood luck, raybeard; digits all crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteThanks W.Q. Don't keep them crossed so long that you can't uncross them again, but I really do appreciate your kind thoughts.
DeleteSending all kinds of good thoughts that you can make this move to somewhere peaceful and calm and Mr Nasty Free!
ReplyDeleteTa, Bob. Anywhere - and I mean ANYwhere - will be relative bliss once I've shaken him free.
DeleteSending good thoughts your way! Maybe this will be for the best, to get away from that dreadful man.
ReplyDeleteI accept your thoughts gladly and with gratitude, Elle. I should have started this a long time ago, but now there's no going back.
DeleteSending you all my best possible wishes too, Ray. And {{{{hugs}}}}.
ReplyDeleteMany thanks, Rozzie. I have full confidence in the efficacy of your wishes.
DeleteI hope you find somewhere to your satisfaction Ray and if you don't you can live happily where you are for a while longer. His daughter may be nice and he may not have said anything about you at all.
ReplyDeleteI just can't stay here longer than I must, Rachel. I can hear him right now out front yelling at someone down the phone. It's just too scary and dangerous.
DeleteIf his daughter hasn't got any of his undesirable traits it'll have to be a miracle. I know he talks about me, and unflatteringly - I can see it when I happen to pass one of his many visitors, usually drinkers.
Oxford is lovely, I hope you find something nice. Although what about a little outside the centre but on a good bus route?
ReplyDeleteI've been spoilt by having lived in Oxford very close to the centre, ten mins walk away, Sol, with the theatres cinemas, music venues and bookshops all within easy reach.
DeleteFurther out but on a bus route would have to do, but I'm not accepting that yet.
Oh dear Raybeard. Nothing worst then problems with another in flat dwelling living. My advice.... is when she shows up, the daughter, and she meets you act as nice and sweet as can be. She will be on your side and it will get the guy mad as hell, then she will see the whole story. Either that or bake him some chocolate cupcakes with X-Lax in them. If he in the lu every five minutes, you'll never see him.
ReplyDeleteGood suggestion, M.M. Trouble is I've never cooked/baked.
DeleteI'm expecting nothing but the worst from his daughter, and if I'm wrong about her then it'll be a pleasant surprise. But I'm still determined to leave - hopefully before Xmas.
good luck, raybeard; digits all crossed for you!
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Thanks so much, S.S. Watch this space!
DeleteThank you so much too that allow me to join and comment with your blog!!!
DeleteThe pleasure is mine, S.S.
DeleteRay, so sorry that you have your life made a misery by such a person. I hope your plans come to fruition and you can move to a nicer, safer home soon.
ReplyDeleteUncompromising and bullying neighbours can make you feel fearful and that's just not right. Blessings to you.
Thank you, Sally. Now that I've made the decision I don't know why I waited so long. There are enough stresses in everyday life not to want additionally a person who creates them needlessly. When the time comes I'll get enormous satisfaction in being able to show him two fingers and give him a "Good riddance!"
DeleteRay, I really feel for you. In the past, I have had to deal with bad neighbors, whether I lived in an apartment or a house. Finally found the ideal location - quiet and close to everything. Of course, my cats always came first in determining where I would live.
ReplyDeleteBe aware that moving is stressful and lots of work. Sometimes I wondered how I lived through it. But settling in Oxford where all the things you love are close to you, makes it all worth it.
Good luck and keep us advised as to your progress.
Thanks for all that, Paul. I know that moving is one of the most stress-engendering things one can do in life but, frankly, while I am here each day is now having its own tensions big-time. I was shouted at only this morning because he'd gone out and forgotten his key, and when he knocked and I didn't go down immediately (I thinking it could just as well be someone knocking for him) he started hammering on the door. When I did go down I was cursed for taking so long - he needed the toilet badly. He forgets to take his key quite regularly whereas I've forgotten my door key only once in my life - and that was 40 years ago!
DeleteBut generally he's so full of HATE. I can't understand the man at all. He doesn't yet know that I've started making enquiries about moving. When he does find out it should knock the wind out of him (I hope) as he'll have to find someone new to walk all over - it could even be a couple with a bit of luck.
I'm pretty well set on moving to Oxford. I've checked out the current state of cinemas (now a total of 9 screens all within walking distance of the centre) and its two theatres - plus, of course, concerts just about every day. So much going on in a not very big city of around 120,000. I do hope it works out. It can't happen soon enough.
Yes, I'll certainly post here about how it's all going. Thanks once more.
Ray,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you have to endure this stress. Your home should be a refuge from the troubles of the world. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do. I hope you can keep your cats.
Ron
Thanks Ron. His 'erratic' behaviour carries on - last night loud thumping 'music' from 10.50 p.m. to 2.20 this morning. I can only imagine he drank himself into a stupor and the 'music' is playing on a loop. I suppose as far as he's concerned, if it disturbs others then that's just too bad. Yet he's always ready to complain when his own life is disrupted by others. Sheeesh!
DeleteRay,
DeleteI just saw "Bob, the Street Cat." Have you reviewed this film? If so, what date? I would like to read your take on this movie.
Thanks!
Ron
No, I didn't see 'A Street Cat Named Bob', Ron. I don't think it got a cinema here, but even if it did I would have avoided it as any film featuring animals in a big way, even 'comedies', make me so emotionally uncomfortable that I can't watch them - just like I have to switch over when there's an item on the news regarding any animals, even if it's a happy-ending one such as a rescue. They just cut too deeply into my soul.
DeleteThere's a very recent film out which is still playing in cinemas - a Turkish film called 'Kedi', entirely about the wild cats of Istanbul. (It's had very god reviews). Although there are assurances that no cat is shown to be harmed in the film I cannot imagine trying to sit through it. I'd be thinking all the time about what happened to them afterwards, something that would keep me awake with worry all night!
Sorry about that - but all animal films are a complete 'no-no' for me, and have been ever since 'Bambi' which I would have been 8 or 9 when first viewing it, and it scarred me for life!
Good luck! Moving is such a pain, but it's better than being in an intolerable situation and I'm guessing the 16 is going to make it more tense, one way or another.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your wishes, Sadie. There's been more high drama (unpleasant) with Mr Nasty only this morning. Too much to talk about here and now. I've no idea how this is going to play out and resolve, while it's all getting increasingly dangerous for me. Even if he were to leave for whatever reason I think I'd rather move now in any case while I'm still not too old to do it.
DeleteThanks yet again.
A wise move, Ray. Very very best of luck and abundant positive vibes to you. Living with noisy hateful neighbours is just intolerable. Mr Nasty sounds awful. Your Keep us posted. I am crossing my fingers for you (but I'll uncross them soon becauseI have to cook dinner.).
ReplyDeleteSorry about the typos - distracted! But you get the gist. :)
DeleteThanks, Judith. Currently a big mystery about Mr Nasty, of whom there's been no sound from below, he having tethered his dog to a park bench three days ago and leaving the poor thing there overnight. The council dog warden has been trying to reach him, as are now the police. (Our joint landlord is seems to be unavailable too!) Then last night I only just notice that his kitchen light has been left on, so God only knows what's happened. Before he 'vanished' his hostile behaviour had become even more erratic, which leads to concerns as to whether he is actually still down there below me. If he is I shudder to think in what form.
DeleteSo we should know soon what's happened, but whatever the outcome is I've now set my heart on leaving here for Oxford.
So, watch this space!
Waiting with bated breath for further news...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rozzie. My life is in turmoil right now. Too much to detail, even in a special blog posting - and it's still carrying on with no sign of a resolution. Cause for great concern.
DeletePlus my hopes of moving back to Oxford are turning out to be less realistic than I'd hoped, now more of an unlikely aspiration.
It's looking like only a 'Deus ex machina' can be my salvation. Worry, worry, worry :-(
Hope you have found a new place, Ray!
ReplyDeleteForgive my ignorance but is this Oxford as in the town of Oxford University? All of my knowledge comes from just finishing up watching Inspector Lewis on Netflix...and what a beautiful town that is.
Problems on top of problems, Elle. (See above, my reply to Rozzie)
DeleteYes, that is the same Oxford, also known as 'The City of Dreaming Spires' - and looks like it'll have to remain a dream for possibly some time yet.
Thanks for thinking of me, though
My thoughts are with you for a better days ahead wherever it may be.
ReplyDeleteTa, F.B. Things not going at all well. If 'better days' are ahead, they are now so far ahead as to be out of sight. But not giving up yet. I'm waiting for the upswing that I trust fate will provide, but it'd better get a move on!
DeleteYes new place/no lodgings and a peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteNo chance of a new place yet, Dr Spo - and even less chance of peace of mind. But I refuse to be crushed although the fates are trying their darnedest to do just that.
DeleteThanks for your thoughts.
Still thinking and worrying about you, Ray. Please keep your friends posted. {{{{Hugs}}}}
ReplyDeleteThanks once more, Rozzie. Things are still moving fast, but not in a direction I would like. Having teased my followers with snippets of news, usually hints of the 'bad', I think I owe you all a posting of an update which I'll consider. Trouble is, it becomes out-of-date almost before the same day is over. But I'll think about it and try.
DeleteHugging you back in return.
Hey Ray, can you check if you can vote again? I have redone it??? heck knows if it is right. As you and I are the only ones bothering, if you just say the ones you would like then, should we just go with those?
ReplyDeleteDone, Sol.
DeleteThere HAS to be someone else around who's willing to join us - especially as it looks likely that I may have to suspend my own contributions if things get tighter here. We just can't be the only avid readers in town! (Can we?)
p.s. what do you think of Pride and Prejudice? should we read that? do we need a bit of Austen?
ReplyDeleteIt's somewhere among this disorganised heap of stuff here, Sol. I must have read 'P & P' at least three times and, as I actually recall very little of it, I'm sure it's due for a refresher read. But ANY Austen for your list is an absolute must - and this has got to be the front-runner.
DeleteThinking and worrying about you and your predicament. XXX and hugs.
ReplyDeleteI'm flattered by your concern, Judith. Although my current problems may be HUGE for me, I've got to keep reminding myself that everyone has problems, some even larger than mine. Such is life for each and everyone of us. But I will come through this, and your positive hugs will make it all the more likely even if at the moment I just can't see how.
DeleteGrateful thanks once more.
My thoughts are with you for a better days ahead wherever it may be.
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Thanks, S.S. Things are going slower than I'd hoped, at least on the moving front, but got to keep at it. There can be no return.
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Thank you, K.
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