Sunday 21 June 2015

June 21st - a doubly poignant anniversary


Today is not only the anniversary (10th) of my mother's funeral, but also the 36th anniversary of my father's death.

Seeing my sister last month for my annual visit (she, now 77, having been widowed just last February), she'd dug out a photo which I'd completely forgotten, taken when we were on holiday, when I'd have been about 10. This was on the Yorkshire Moors, actually only about 25 miles from our home, but in those days that distance was a big deal! Can you guess which of the the three young boys I am? (If you do a left-click on the photo it should come up much larger and clearer).

My mother is, you can just see, holding onto Candy at the bottom of the picture, the only dog we ever owned, and which I loved to bits - and the old  lady on the right is my grandmother, my mum's mum.

I am actually the right one of the three. Next to me is my late elder brother who died 7 years ago at the age of 64 and who became an internationally-renowned memory man, once holding the world record for remembering the mathematical ratio pi to over 15,000 decimal places (long since been overtaken, though) as well as other memory tricks, such as with playing cards. My younger brother, David, is the perky-looking one on the left, and was the most intelligent member of the family, winning school prizes and things. (I have one other surviving brother, now 75.)

So there it is - rare from me, but a blast from my past, on a day when thoughts veer towards my departed parents. Poignant and sad memories, true, but also most agreeable ones.

24 comments:

  1. I love this blast from the past and the photo is wonderful. Believe it or not, I immediately guessed which boy was you. I'm amazed and intrigued that one of your brothers was a memory expert - - since I often have trouble remembering my own phone number. You were all intellectually gifted. I'm glad that your memories are poignant and fond.

    Today is Father's Day here in the U.S. I'm presently writing a blog entry about it, but won't post it until later in the day. Unfortunately, most of my memories are far from agreeable.

    Take care and have a pleasant day.

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    1. Thanks Jon. I was number 4 of us 5 children, my only sister being the eldest.

      My memory brother was also the least academically inclined of all of us, leaving school with the bare minimum of attainment - and that only in the subject of Art! And yet, because of the celebrity status he was to achieve he became the most financially successful in the family. Sad, then, that his generosity towards others and their taking advantage of that quality of his, meant that he wasn't able to hold onto much of the money he made, and he died with little to his name.

      Today is Father's Day here too. (Perhaps it is the world over.)
      Knowing now of the experiences of others I can only appreciate at this late stage of life how valuable it was to have had two parents , both of whom I respected and liked.
      My father was absent more than I cared but I only later realised that he was working day and night at being the only bread-winner, not only of his own large family, but he also kept my mother's mother, her aunt and her elderly uncle all at our home together. It was only latterly that I became really proud of what he had sacrificed to keep us all fed and clothed. When he died he was at the age ay which I now am.

      Enjoy the rest of your day, Jon.

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    2. I had no idea that Father's Day was celebrated outside of the USA. Obviously it's a worldwide conspiracy. I always like to read about the histories of my fellow bloggers - - it makes me feel closer to them. You are very fortunate to have had a peaceful childhood.

      By the way, thanks for your recent comment on my blog. I do hope that your computer is behaving (or is that too much to hope for??)

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    3. I think Fathers' Day (as well as Mothers') is pretty global, Jon, certainly in the English-speaking world and throughout much of Europe.

      I always feel rather abashed about writing on my own life as I consider it so dull when compared with that of others, including your own spectacular struggle against the odds. Yes, although I didn't know it at the time - I felt my early years were full of exasperations and frustrations - I grew to realising how blessed I'd been in having two loving parents and a close-knit family.

      I re-read your latest posting last night and it gets sadder each time. It defies description how any child should go through all that in his formative years - and be expected to come out of it undamaged. Of course it must have left unhealed scars and I really do feel for you even more now.

      I'm afraid my computer is worse than ever (and it can only slide yet further down) with increasingly frequent screen-freezings. This little reply to you has taken 3/4 hour so far and will take a fair bit longer to process. I've got a book beside me which I take up every few minutes while I wait for it to 'thaw' (currently a re-read of 'Lorna Doone', last read 21 years ago). Things won't improve until I can acquire an entirely new, up-to-date one, but that won't be on the cards for a while yet.

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  2. I love old pictures, little sliced of time-- usually, happy times.

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    1. Thanks, Sadie. It's regrettable that I've got so few of them. If only I felt then as I do now.

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  3. It's good to stop and take stock of such old photos Ray and remember those loved ones who are no longer with us. I was actually going to guess that you were the boy on the left!

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    1. Many thanks, Craig. I always thought my mum was beautiful, and when I was little I thought she looked like our present Queen, which she did. I was closer to her than I was to my Dad, but only because she was always there, though his not being so was no fault of his. I still always loved them both.

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  4. I'm with craig here, I also thought you were the boy on the left. and such a cute puppy! and your mum was beautiful.

    for a happy thought about today, it's the 26th anniversary of my beating cancer. I must be a tough old bird, right? :-)

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    1. 26 years later, and still going strong! How many can say that after going through what you've been through, A.M.? Tough 'cookie' (or 'bird') is right.

      So we both have good reasons to 'celebrate' in different ways this auspicious date, the Longest Day. All helps to give our own advancing years some 'colour'.

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  5. Love the old photos, and such a cute young lad there on the right!

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    1. Ta, Bob. It was some years yet before I was able to grow my trademark beard, younger than me by some 23 years.

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  6. I always enjoy a glimpse into the lives of blogger friends, thank you for this one.

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    1. Thank you too, F.B. - and I'd been thinking that no one would be so interested in reading this post as they are when I talk about films. How wrong can one be?

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  7. what a good looking family! Even the dog has a nice face ;-)

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    1. Much thanks, E. - Our little Candy had a nicer face than ANY of us ;-)

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  8. I very much enjoy your personal entries; thank you for sharing them.

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    1. Muchas gracias, Dr Spo. I doubt of there'll be any more early photos of me, but one never knows. On the other hand if I could only think of SOMETHING noteworthy that happened, something it would be worthwhile writing about......

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    2. Ray, I'm sorry to intrude again, but I think there were probably many things in your life that are noteworthy and would be of great interest to your readers. They probably just don't seem noteworthy to you.

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    3. Maybe so, Jon, though I can't think for the moment what they could be. I'm probably using the excuse to get me out of talking about myself which I can't do comfortably - though there have been occasions where once it starts I just can't shut up, not at all a desirable trait. Anyway, I'll ponder on what you say - and thanks for saying it.

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  9. I enjoyed the post and photo and family history . A lovely family photo and what a beautiful young man you are in that photo .

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    1. Well, thank you, Leisha, but I was still in my years of 'innocence' then. Future experiences were yet to lay their scars on my visage, not to mention wrinkles!

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  10. Ray you are all so lovely looking. I would have thought it was a picture of you all in the Med somewhere and you are all Italian.

    What lovely memories.

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    1. Thanks, Sol. You are a bit closer than you thought with that 'Italian' comment as my father was of Portuguese extraction (plus a bit of Danish). Great pity that I don't have a single picture of him. My sister has a handful but I don't think there are any photos at all of him beyond middle age.
      Incidentally, from the photo above you may just make out that I am the darkest of my family, a feature that I've retained - as well as being the tallest, once becoming an adult - though even at 6 foot it's not so very tall.

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