Wednesday, 13 April 2011

I got the Pre-Royal Wedding Day Blues.

.....and there's still over two weeks to go.

I've had enough! Every flaming day on all the news channels there just has to be something about the Royal couple - well, the female half has to wait until the 'big day' before she gets her title.

When the last similar hoo-ha occurred, 30 years ago, on the day when Charles and Diana tied their ill-fated knot I was busying myself taking a load of 'candid' self-photos, while the royalist chap in the flat above me (camp as a row of tents and a true 'queen' in his own right) blasted out the TV commentary of the ceremony through his open windows. I could hear it through my own windows, also thrown open being a hottish day, which had resulted in my wearing very little anyway - and might have given me the idea to maximise the opportunity.

This was, of course, many years before digital cameras, and though I did have a Polaroid camera, it didn't have a self-timer, which my 'normal' camera did. There was also the problem of having the photos developed and printed - and I'd have waited some time before finding someone who would do it and plucking up the courage to send off the film. Anyway, I still have all the photos taken on that day - and this is one of them, suitably cropped for reasons of discretion and, erm, decency. But at least you might have some idea what I looked like before some of you were even just twinkles in your fathers' eyes.
As long as we still have our present Queen I'm not exactly a rabid republican but I do look forward to when Charles succeeds who, together with his own Queen (not-just-a-pretty-face) Camilla, he should duly manage to puncture the Royalist cause and give rise to some consternation (with a bit of luck) at the survival of this quaint but costly and atrophied institution.
I'm amazed at how many British people want the inheritance to pass over Charles and for William to become our next monarch. Their knowledge of history is abysmal. Under our hereditary monarchy we get what comes next, saving a revolution (the last such one being in 1688 when the Catholic James II was unceremoniously given the boot - though even then he had still been king for the previous three years ) . If you don't like the next in line, too bad. It's just tough-titty!
Of course Charles (or King George VII, as I reckon he'll want to be known) can always abdicate, but there's hardly a strong reason why he should do so. He might have some crackpot ideas but he'll hardly be the first to have such!

Well, for the next fortnight or more I'll just have to keep on switching channels, though it's getting increasingly difficult to escape this morbid fascination - "They were seen together holding hands" (oh, shock, horror!) "They are clearly a young couple very much in love." (Well, who would have thought it!) I shouldn't be at all surprised if they now start telling us the timings of Kate's periods.
Meantime I'll have to think of something to do on the 29th's 'yawn-athon' when there's going to be saturation coverage on both TV and radio. Pity I no longer have the looks or the body to self-snap myself again. Still, dare say I can always find something (or someone?) on the Internet to amuse myself with.


  1. Wow! What a handsome man in that picture!

  2. How do i get the uncropped version?

  3. This has got to be the most entertaining post I've read about the upcoming nuptials. Camilla does amuse me and from what I've read in one of our tabloids, Camilla and Kate are at odds on some of the aspects of the wedding. I think this is all good fun and in a way, it's a diversion from some of the crap that been happening in the US.

    I'm with Sean. I want the uncropped version, too.

  4. And I thought all the fuss about THE wedding was too much on this side of the pond!

  5. BB: Thanks very much for that comment - but it's come a bit late now ;-)
    The bane of that period for me was that I kept being pursued and pestered by blonde, clean-shaven, younger guys who, I suppose, saw in me a contrast to what they were themselves. On the other hand I was more attracted to dark, bearded guys (as I still am) - a reflection of my own vanity I suppose.

    Sean and Paul: I'd have to be pissed to the gills before I dared show off any pics which showed me 'standing proudly' in the buff. I'm just too shy! :-D
    Paul - Camilla ought to be a gift to cartoonists, with her horsey, chiselled looks and fox-hunting pursuits; Chas riding her hard - sorry, I mean riding WITH her. But for some reason our comedians and satirists seem to be holding back when they could easily go in against this right Royal pair with all guns blazing.
    I wasn't aware of a rift between Kate and Camilla, but then I don't follow their shenanigans. But I shouldn't be surprised if it's true. There is certainly concern here whether Kate will be able to stand up to the relentless prying of the press that Di had to live with.

    Bob: Don't you believe it! It's got to be even worse over here. But I fear the fuss will be world-wide - especially since they're such a photogenic couple - perfect fodder for the tabloids and mags who are just salivating for one of them to make or utter some horrible faux-pas before turning on them. Only then will it become interesting. But meantime I do wish them well. REALLY!

  6. Thank goodness I can totally immerse myself in balls and the odd boy over the next two weeks! I've taken out a month's subscription to Eurosport Player so as to get all the snooker which the BBC doesn't show since it bargained away its second 'red button'. Typically, one of the hottest first round matches for years (reigning ozzie champion versus the Young Pretender (21y/o Bristol boy, Judd Trump) is NOT on the BBC coz it starts at 1000 on Saturday - far too early for them!

    I suppose the other thing one could do is go abroad. Several of my gay friends did that when Charles and Di did the decent thing.

  7. Ray, I've just have to thank you for your humorous response to my comment. It was my laugh of the day. I have always wondered why the drag queens didn't take Camilla on. She is a drag queen's dream.

  8. Micky: Thanks for your comment but 'fraid you lost me, not being a snooker buff - though I don't know whether I'm disappointed or relieved on reading your clarification of the balls/boys issue.
    Would like to go abroad BUT:-
    a) Can't afford it (Haven't been abroad for over 20 years!) and -
    b) I doubt if it would be a guarantee of escape anyway, probably not as effective as hiding under a duvet at home (which would be a darned sight cheaper).

    Paul: I'm pleased that you've been tickled but our fragrant Camilla is really serious stuff. When she's riding I believe she can really crack the old switch on the poor beast's rump, so you can only imagine what she's like on a horse!
    (Ripping good sport, this fox-hunting is, what? Tearing a conscious little animal, already terrified out of its wits, limb from limb. Ha ha. What spiffing fun! TALLY-HO!)

  9. Thank God here in Québec, we're not that much into Royalty!
    Hmmm! But come to think of it... I've been sitting on the Queen's face for centuries: she still adorns our 20$ bill, you know!!!
    Now if Charlie gives over the crown to his beloved son... so HE should have his pretty face one the 20...

  10. DB, yes I can see that you in Quebec would not be so keen on 'La Reine Anglaise et sa Famille'. But just imagine, when Charles does become King it could well be his wish that his lovely wife presents HER face to be sat upon. Now wouldn't that be so much more satisfying?

  11. Still laughing over your comment to DB about Camilla. Oh, and one more thing: One of the tabloids is hinting, well more than hinting, it made the front cover, that Kate may be pregnant. What bad behavior from the royals.

  12. LOL. God! And I was already plannig to put my wallet in the front pocket of my jeans so I could have Prince William face close to my Prince Willie...LOL.
    I realize that we could go an and on like that. Hope you'll find some peace during this big rigmarole.

  13. Paul, I've certainly never heard any mention of Katie being 'knocked up' but if it were true it would give a much-needed added frisson to the whole boring business. It would only add to what we've suspected about our randy Royals.
    Much being made here of W/C's firstborn, even if it's a she, being the next in line to the throne when William falls off his perch. Although it would need an Act of Parliament to over-ride our male primogeniture requirement there's virtually no opposition to changing it. And about time too!

    Thanks for your wish, DB. I hope you don't have to be carrying TWO wallets - although 'twould be a shame if a representation of the voluptuous Camilla were not used to its full potential - as in "Kiss my arse!" ;-)
    Btw I know that William has a significant gay following here, which I can't say I share, 'Bad Boy Harry' being for me the more fascinating of the two, though hardly a pin-up himself!. However I don't see much attraction in Katie either. For me she would be lost in a crowd, unlike our still-missed Di, who, whatever you thought of her, had 'radiance'. But maybe Katie will bloom more after she's needlessly killed a few hundred grouse and other game, which seems so necessary to establishing her full royal credentials.

  14. Ray, sorry to hear that coverage is getting to you. It is hard to miss. I don't think I could stand the media barrage you have to endure over all things royal. Since Stan and I don't have TV it is pretty easy for us to escape the media ridiculousness that has become the coverage of the royal wedding in your nation. Occasionally, I'll run onto something on blogs or on the front page of my online news sources, but that is about it. As so many have said, you are very handsome in the pic! Thanks for sharing it.:)

  15. Thanks, Kyle. It's much easier to show a photo of how I used to look than how I am now. I've got loads of early ones but it would be unfair and self-serving vanity to show too many of them off now. Only once in a while, maybe.
    As for the W/C wedding, I must admit I've been partly taking the piss. It's easy for me to turn the telly off anytime, as I often do, and pick up a book instead. I'm delighted to learn that you are one of those sensible ones who don't own a TV. They can be a great time-waster and, if you've got company, a conversation-killer too. I could do without mine, though have to confess I'd insist on keeping my radio. I might, in fact, put the wedding on without sound - just in case someone makes it more interesting by tripping over and landing flat on their face!

  16. Silly straight people and their silly televised weddings! I look forward to the day when some future gay prince marries his boyfriend. Will it ever happen?

  17. Certainly not in my lifetime, Cubby. Probably not in yours either. We can't even see it happening in 'Fairy Tales'. But it WILL surely come.