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| Taken 6th Oct 2017 |
He'd hardly eaten or drunk anything for 3 days and, as far as I could see, had done no wees or stinkies for even longer. Then today he started making a wailing noise every so often, clearly being in pain or at least quite some discomfort. Must have been blocked up at his back end. Tried washing him there with a warm, wet cloth, hoping that he'd be able to release something, but to no avail.
Vet examined him and she gave the verdict that the kindest thing I could do would be to let him go. Although in my heart I knew that is what would be said, when I heard it I started weeping freely.
I was allowed to hold him as he was injected in a foreleg. He was quiet, no struggle. He went cold very quickly, and after listening for a heartbeat she whispered "He's gone". I stroked him, kissed the top of his little head, and thanked him.
I'm numb.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I know it's the right thing to do, but it's also the hardest. hugs
ReplyDeleteFirst time I've ever had to make such a decision, Sadie. Knowing that it was the right one doesn't make the bearing of it any lighter. Thanks for your thoughts and hugs.
DeleteI'm so, so sorry, Ray. The kindest thing for Noodles but the hardest for you. Thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Sadie. Your thoughts are a great comfort, and I'll wrap my very fresh memories of Noodles in them.
DeleteSorry for your loss Ray. Noodles suffers no longer, which may be some comfort. I know it is a hard thing to go through and hope you feel better.
ReplyDeleteThree hours since, TGA, and I'm still in a daze which will probably not start to fade for a while yet. Don't have any concern for me. I'll get through it as I did for Blackso in July - though I know my lovely memories for Noodles, as with Blackso, will be with me forever.
DeleteThank you for registering your generous thoughts here. I really do appreciate it.
I am sorry that it came to the end for Noodles, a sad moment but the right thing to do as he should not suffer. I hope you are alright tonight Ray. I have had to do this and I know on the one hand it is sad and a hard thing to do but on the other hand it means that a beloved pet does not suffer any more.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is still heavy as lead, Rachel, and will remain so for some time to come. I haven't yet recovered from Blackso's going - now I'll be thinking of both him and Noodles many times every single day for who knows how long.
DeleteYes, it's comforting to know that his suffering is over, even if my own isn't. But mine is less important than his was.
Thank you for your kind feelings in this direction.
it is SO hard to lose a furkid! but you did the right thing for noodles, even though it is difficult to let go. blackso and noodles are at peace over the rainbow bridge.
ReplyDeletemy condolences, dear raybeard.
Thank you ever so, W.Q. The 'Rainbow Bridge' is a lovely thought - and it helps me to come to terms. I still have their blessed memories for eternity, which itself is beyond any price.
Deletetrue that, dear. my 4 are there with your 2.
DeleteWait for me, my dear ones. We'll have a BIG party with W.Q.'s kids as guests of honour.
DeleteSad time for you but, yes, it was time. Chin up Ray, MaggieB
ReplyDeleteVery, VERY grateful for your kind sentiment, Maggie. I'll keep my chin up for yours and for their own sakes. Thanks for your kind visit and for registering your emotions.
DeleteXxx
DeleteMaggieB
And reciprocal Xs to you, Maggie - lots of them.
DeleteVery sad news Raybeard. Thinking of you and sending my heartfelt condolences.
ReplyDeleteYour condolences gratefully and warmly received, Simone. Thank you.
DeleteDear Ray, what can I say that hasn't been said. I am so sorry and i feel for you. Dear Noodles, rest easy.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Judith. There's still a lot of evidence around, including the smells, of his recent presence. But it's the memories of him which will keep my spirits aloft, bless them.
DeleteYou’ve endured too much loss in such a short amount of time. I’m trully sorry, Ray. My heart aches for you.
ReplyDeleteSassybear
Deep gratitude to you for such kind words, S/b. You know exactly how we get attached to our little companions, and it's your regular posts of H & R.M.'s welfare (as well as your own) which help me to realise how precious life is to all of us. Give the little ones a gentle farewell pat from Noodles, please.
DeleteWe have had to put a few or ours to "sleep," and it's never easy, but it is the best thing for the pet. The suffering is over and they are at peace, even if we aren't.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you and your loss, but do know that Noodles is peaceful, and pain free now.
And know that Noodles was deeply loved and deeply loved you in return.
He couldn't have had a better home and owner, Bob. Like Blackso before him, and Patchie (still here) after him. he decided to leave his home a dozen houses down on this same road and insisted on moving in with me. All attempts to return him failed until his then owner (with two young girls, which was likely to have been the problem for him) gave up.
DeleteIf Noodles didn't show me his appreciation as readily as Blackso did it never meant for an instant that I valued him any less. I'm satisfied that more couldn't have been done for him, and I'm already missing the one less 'person' whom I could talk to.
Although my head tells me we'll never meet again my heart insists that I'll see both him and Blackso again, and I'm going to cling to that.
Many thanks to you for writing what you have, with my knowing that you having had the experience more than once yourself, you'll know the precise emotions I feel.
I don't care how many pets one has, it never gets easier. I am truly sorry to hear of poor little Noodles....I do hope you find comfort in your fond memories of him.
ReplyDeleteThere's no negative memories of him at all, M.M., though it has been a constant challenge to get him interested in anything beyond my providing him with food and shelter. I guessed that his early kitten life had not been conducive to feeling affection towards others, probably the two young girl in his first home had pestered him beyond endurance, treating him as a toy (just as I did as a young boy to all our early cats). So if that was so he must have felt relief having found a refuge from all that forced attention on him.
DeleteYes, the memories of him are my comforts are they will indeed sustain me.
Thank you so much once more.
Words won't help you much but I do hope that the heartache lessens as time passes.......
ReplyDeleteI can only hope that that will be the case, Anon. There's no alternative, really. There'll always be the poignant memories which I will cherish forever.
DeleteOh my dear, dear Ray. I so wish I could be there for you to hold you in my arms for a while.
ReplyDeleteIt seems so quick! Although I'm sure it didn't seem so for sweet little Noodles. And yes, it is just too bloody soon after darling Blackso's departure. Just so unfair.
Of our 5 feline losses, we have only had to take 2 to the vet for the needle - well Mark did. And he sobbed both times.
Our cats are so precious to us, Ray. You will be in my thoughts. {{{{Hugs}}}}
Very moved by your highly appreciated words, Rozzie. I feel ever so thankful for your kind thoughts.
DeleteYes, it all happened in a short time and it was his evident discomfort or, likely, pain as expressed in his regular wailing that made me grasp what had to be done, hard as it was to do. A complete recovery appeared to have been unattainable, and if it had been, for what? A few more years of decline with possibly an even more painful end? He had all what could be done and in as much comfort as was possible to have been provided for him. So my consolation is exactly that, and in the priceless memories of him when he was in health for the overwhelming majority of his years.
Coming within four months of Blackso's going has made it especially tough, but it's all over now. And I've still got Patchie, sleeping right now on the settee behind me.
Thanks, my dear Rozzie.
Condolences. It's so hard to say goodbye to our loving and loyal furry friends.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Walt. It's not so long since you suffered your own equivalent bereavement, and I dare say that the feelings are yet raw with you, perhaps with daily reminiscences. But for we longer-lived species it's a feature of our lives that we've got no alternative but to come to terms with - and, as in your case, able to give comfort and love to your dear departed one's successor.
DeleteVery grateful indeed for your condolences which I heartfully accept in Noddles' memory. Thanks again.
Ray, I must admit that this post brought tears to my eyes. It was an extremely difficult thing for you to have to do - yet it was the most merciful thing you could do. I wouldn't have been able to bear seeing Noodles suffer.
ReplyDeleteAfter losing two cats in such a short time, the void in your life must be immense. Only people who live entirely alone like you and I can fully understand how much company our feline companions are.
My thoughts are with you.
I don't think it shows in the post, Jon, but I was sobbing hard as I typed it. Thank you for your tears, if that's not too harsh a thing to be grateful for, but it reflects your deep sympathy towards a situation you yourself are well familiar with.
DeleteYes, coming fairly soon after dear Blackso's departure wasn't the bet of timing, but I want to think that they are now in each other's familiar company and that, in time, I shall join them and wee can enjoy our former deep companionship for eternity. Well, why not?
I've still got Patchie here, who's been acting a bit strange since I returned from the vet yesterday. When Blackso was in his final hours (though I didn't know it for sure then) Patchie wouldn't come inside but sat out on the pavement despite my coaxing. Then within a couple of minutes of Blackso expiring in the kitchen, he was at the kitchen window wanting to enter, though when he did he gave not the slightest glance towards dear Blackso lying inert in the litter tray. I think he's a very instinctively aware cat.
Patchie's going to have to listen to a lot more talking of mine in future.
Thanks for saying what you did, Jon. Good to have you as a pal.
My heart aches for you, knowing all too well myself what it feels like to love and lose these dear little companions. The space they take up in our lives is huge, and the emptiness they leave behind is enormous. But easing their pain at the end of their days is the best, last kindness that we do for them, and knowing how much it hurts us is part of the price we pay, in advance, to have and hold and love these wonderful, magical creatures. I'm sure Noodles knew how much he was loved, even to his last breath, and I know he was grateful that you were there to help him when he needed you most. Rest n peace, sweet angel.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your consoling words, Vivian, though I need some time-distance before I can see that my fateful decision of this time yesterday was an act of 'kindness'. It's true that I'd rather have him back right now even in his final condition, but that would be indulgently selfish in putting my wishes before his own comfort. I'm sure that the correctness of what happened will come to me in time, but meanwhile I'll just attempt to think of the many comforting memories both Noodles and Blackso have left me - also in a lot more pics, some of which I may post from time to time after the present soreness has lessened.
DeleteYes, if only we could experience the joys of our pets' company without having to go through the harrowings of witnessing their sufferings and, often, their departures. It hurts like hell - and yet you, me and others are fully aware are we can't have only the 'best bits'. Is it really worth it? Of course it is. Their short lives enrich us in untold measure.
I'd like to think that Noodles appreciated the comfort and security I gave him. What I do know with certainly is that he preferred being with me than living in his previous home, otherwise he wouldn't have moved in here. That alone gives me pride.
It was so difficult reading this post. My thoughts traveled to the time I began following your blog which was many years ago, and I had my "3-As" and you had your 3 -Blackso, Noodles and Ginger. Somehow, we thought those days would never end. And now, here we are.
ReplyDeleteReading the comments, I know that we are all united in our love of these precious creatures and also in our loss.
I don't have to give you advice - you've been there before. Just know that I and others share your heartache.
Special thanks to you, Paul. I can't really add much to your words. It's abundantly clear that we have these identical emotions in common. Your sharing my heartache says it all - and for that I thank you deeply.
DeleteSorry for your loss. Sadder still that it came not too long after the loss of your other pet.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Kirk. It's going to take a long time to come to terms with what happened but a bit strange that in a way I don't want myself to. That would seem to diminish the intensity of the experience, which I don't want to lose.
DeleteSending you more hugs. You are a very good man.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mitch. Must admit I'm finding it very hard to face.
DeleteRay,
ReplyDeletePardon me if I already sent you a comment on the passing of your beloved Noodles. I am so sorry that your devoted friend is no longer with you. There is no love or devotion that is a pure and unqualified as that from our four legged friends. Each one takes a special place in our life and when they pass, they have a permanent residence in our heart. You did the right thing and now Noodles is no longer suffering. You are a good man to have given him a loving, safe and comfortable life.
Ron
It's really knocked me back, this one, Ron. Many tears still, two days later. Feeling desperately sorry, perhaps because with Blackso, he had died before my very eyes and I couldn't do anything about it, which was hard enough to take - but with Noodles it had been MY own decision to get him to die, admittedly on the vet's advice, though which gives an added dimension. Feeling terribly lonely now, with reminders of him all over the place (as there still is for Blackso) - even though I still do have Patchie. But, I'll get over it. There's no alternative but to push through and onwards.
DeleteThanks for your consoling words, Ron. You know very well the emotion I'm experiencing, one that it rips the soul out of you. :-(
So sorry for your loss....gone but not forgotten.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Libby. I'll remember both Noodles and Blackso with no effort at all on my part, every single day of my remaining life.
DeleteI've two cats buried in the garden and one in another garden and there's another one buried in a garden two doors away that used to belong to whole street. He was called Tommy and was my favourite. I think he was psychic.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I could cope with that, G.W. It's hard enough having to pass the vet centres where my two deceased little ones were taken for the last time (two different vets). To know the place where they'd been buried would be a step too far for my own mental well-being - though I do perfectly understand the reasons for anyone wanting to do so, keeping them nearby.
DeleteI am also saddened by your loss, even as you know you did the right thing for Noodles.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, RTG. Fortunately there's enough going on in my life, including the chance of a much-hoped-for move pending, to distract me from dwelling too morbidly on the two recent losses. If I was just sitting here uselessly moping, I'd go out of my mind. By the time the opportunity comes to do that, if still wanting to do it by then anyway, the sting(s) should have diminished.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts.
I have had to do it too many times. It is the last act of love we can do for our beloved pets. I cry just thinking about it. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful for your thoughts, Peter, and I thank you from the heart for them.
DeleteI've just thanked the vet for having sent me a sympathy card - hand-written, mentioning Noodles by name. I've never heard of a vet doing that before and I'm very impressed and appreciative of it. Every little helps, as does yours too - although it's far from being 'little'.
Thank you so much once more.
Oh no
ReplyDeleteI am catching up on blogs and this is what I find.
First of all I am glad to see you surrounded by Love here. There is no sorrow like the loss of a pet. I've had old cats die - I know what you are experiencing. At times of this words are lame and useless.
I'd be feeling even more bereft now if it weren't for the many messages of support and sympathy I've had here, Dr Spo, from all round the globe. I'm not 'ticking' them off so I wasn't aware that you hadn't left a comment until now, but I am indeed so reassured that you've caught up on it.
DeleteYour own experiences are enough to tell me you know what I'm going through still, now three days later. It helps to be reminded that my emotions are very far indeed from being unique - and it does need to be done constantly.
Thank you - and your words are anything but "lame and useless". I value them truly.
What a sad loss, touches deeply, but in the end what a beauty for you to have been part of each other's lives. Wish you strength for today and tomorrow. Warm greetings and all the best.
ReplyDeleteGrateful thanks for your sentiments, B. I never took him for granted while he was with me - which is more than I can say for the way for what appeared to be his attitude towards me (apart from feeding time!) I can rest secure in the knowledge that he got the best I was able to give him, bless his memory.
DeleteThanks for dropping by and leaving your encouragingly positive words. Very much appreciated.
So terribly sorry to read your sad news, so soon after loosing your lovely Blackso
ReplyDeleteI'm sure they both knew how very much you loved them. It's so hard to say goodbye. Much love and blessings to you.
Thank you, J. It's now time to hold inside me the heavy grief I still feel, but it's a consolation to know that Blackso and Noodles are being carried together in my heart wherever I go. I'm still clinging to the hope that I might somehow be re-united with them.
ReplyDeleteThanks once more.