I've only just heard a bulletin direct from the recently-appointed White House Press Secretary who, reporters have been assured, will never lie, and it's phenomenal news too - yes, the President has now saved TEN MILLION American lives, maybe even more, simply by NOT dropping a nuclear bomb on New York. Great success story! Is there no stopping this man??? Oh, celebrate, my friends! Give thanks and party till you drop!
Now, who will join my petition to have this supremely gifted individual canonised? - while still alive, which might be unprecedented but this is a man with unprecedented talents, and a humble and holy man to boot. A sainthood will sit very nicely beside the 'Noble' Peace Prize he's long overdue in receiving (or should that be a 'Wurlitzer' Prize?)
So everybody, three cheers now for this living embodiment of selfless disregard of his own interests and his studious prioritising of the often desperate needs of hard-working American citizens everywhere --------------- HIP HIP..............
42 minutes ago