Thursday 12 August 2010

Sleeping alone - can't beat it!

I've often wondered why so many couples sleep together. Is it just me who finds that sleep is an activity best carried out in solitude? Don't get me wrong - heaven forfend that I should advocate abstemious celibacy! No, what I mean is that a large/double bed is very useful for certain 'pleasures', but when it comes to slumbering I'd far rather be alone. Actually it's been many years now since I even had such a choice, but I must admit that on those occasions when I did, either in my own home or that of friends (or even strangers!), manners prevented me from saying what I really felt once the, erm, 'physical business' was over with, and we both wanted to sleep. Even in my more affluent days when I had my own large place with a spare bedroom and bed I could never bring myself to suggest we sleep separately for fear of offending my visitor. So I spent the night 'suffering in silence' whilst we spent the night turning over at different times, me getting very little sleep indeed, (I'm also told that I tend to kick out in my sleep) or, even more irritating, being held with the other's arms around my chest (or somewhere else) whilst trying to sleep. Often I just wanted to yell out "GET OFF ME!". Then there's also the issue of the other person snoring.
I just wonder how many more there are out there who feel as I do, but who daren't voice their true feelings. Only hope I'm not causing arguments to break out. But maybe I'm a rarity.


  1. I think we all need to find our own comfort zones. You are not the first person I know to dislike sharing a bed when it comes to sleeping. My husband and I sleep together and prefer it. However, he does not like sleeping with more than the two of us in the bed, whereas I have enjoyed sleeping with 3-4 people in one bed. I'm a bit more snuggly and communal in that regard.

  2. Greg doesn't like sleeping with me and often says he wants a separate bed. I say to hell with that. No husband of mine is going to sleep in a separate bed!

    But he's right. We'd both sleep better if we had separate beds. At least that's true in the summertime. In the wintertime, we fall asleep in each other's arms, enjoying our warmth. That is one of the best feelings on earth.

    I think a good solution would be to get a King size bed (American king size, that is). Those beds are so huge we could sleep together or apart as the seasons demand.

  3. Well, both of you at least have the courage to voice how you feel. But on both your evidences it seems that the desire to sleep alone may not be as uncommon as I'd thought.

  4. I require at least one hug before I go to sleep it would feel odd to go to sleep next to the person you love without some physical contact. I would love a king size bed; summer nights require a fan.

  5. My gorgeous ex and I used to snuggle together ALL NIGHT LONG, and wake up the same way. It was wonderful. He was so furry and warm and sweet.
    I've never found anyone else that I could sleep with that well, though.

  6. Oliver - (thanks very much for your comment) I understand having the odd hug with someone you're fond of before dropping off - but for me that's it! Sleeping is a serious business and I don't want ANYONE to disturb it.
    Mark - (thanks to you too. Much appreciated) The way you describe sleeping with your ex has given me goose-pimples. I want to share him now - or at least experience sleeping with him. Sounds like he could even convert me. But you clearly miss his embraces terribly. Hope very much you somehow find someone new who lives up to his standards.