19 minutes ago
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
When I looked out my front window in the 5 a.m. gloom today my heart jumped when I saw a largeish shape lying in the middle of the road. It was twice the size of even my larger cat and anyway the I could see under the road light that the colours were wrong. I went down and gingerly approached it, fearing that it was another cat or a dog. It was a fox, clearly dead by being run down, but a big handsome beast it was. I know that others would describe such animals as vermin, a danger to other beasts which would have killed one of my own cats given the chance, even attacked a child or adult if cornered etc etc. Nevertheless I did feel more than a little distress as I nudged it gently to the side of the road. I do so hate to see a life snuffed out, any life at all, needlessly. Of course I've seen a few dead foxes lying on or by the roadside in my life, but not that many, and certainly never touched one before, albeit with my shoe. I had to wait until 9 0'clock until the Council offices were open to report it. The men came an hour later to remove it - before which naturally curious schoolchildren were walking past and stopping to gawk at it - some of them laughing, which I also found difficult to take. I've only just come back home after seeing M.J.'s 'This Is It' at my local cinema but all the while I felt a heavy feeling in my guts caused by seeing this creature - the sadness is still with me even now. I wish I had a thicker skin but I do feel for the suffering of all animals. Even if in this case the fatal blow was sudden I'm now thinking about whether it had a mate and cubs. I'll just have to wait until this particular mental scar heals over. Yes, I know, I know. There are far more important things to get distressed and to worry about. But I am what I am.